TRAVEL ODDS & ENDS
Weird, strange and simply bizarre travel tidbits
Duane Wells | May 05, 2008
Alert: Beware African penis snatchers
Cross your legs for this one boys�
Private parts appear to be not only sacred but also quite in demand in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo where rumors of penis theft have begun to make the rounds. According to a Reuters report, some 14 victims, who claim that sorcerers touched them and made their genitals shrink or disappear, were detained in the capital city last week.
In response, police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid a repeat of the bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. Since the arrest, however, the 27 men involved in the penis-theft incidents have been released as police found that the victims� penises were still intact and likely in good working order, despite their protests to the contrary.
That said, reports of penis snatching are not at all uncommon in West Africa, where traditional religions and witchcraft remain common, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur. Yikes!
So�if you are traveling to West Africa, may I suggest an investment in a metal cod piece, preferably one with a locking device, to protect the �er �uh �family jewels as they say? Better safe than sorry no? After all this ain�t Bewitched honey.
Beware who you cut in line the next time you visit the happiest place on earth.
Victoria Walker, a 52-year-old Anniston, Alabama mother was convicted of beating and kicking another woman who allegedly cut in front of her in line at Disney's Mad Tea Party in May 2007. Honestly I love the Mad Tea Party as much as the next person, but not enough to fight to the death over admittance to the ride in front of Mickey, Goofy, Snow White and all of my other fave Disney characters. That is just so not supercalifragilisticexpealidocius in my book.
Well Miss Walker got her due when she was taken into custody in Alabama and extradited to Florida months after the incident. Though Walker apologized to the victim she beat down in a Florida courtroom last week, Judge Jose Rodriguez sentenced Walker to 90 days in jail, discounting the 32 days she had already served.
Ah� family values in America.
The deathtrap and the tourist�
I will never quite understand thrill seekers.
An American tourist biking down Bolivia�s so called �Highway of Death� was killed after losing control of his mountain bike on the treacherous road known for its hairpin turns and steep drop offs. Quelle surprise!
56 year-old Kenneth Mitchell� may he rest in peace� was said to be riding with one of several tourist agencies that offer guided trips down the mountain road when he plunged off a cliff and fell approximately 230 feet to his death earlier this week confirming why the path has also been described as �Death Road.�
Word to the wise – sometimes there really can be a lot in a name.
Hence the reason, I personally always avoid any experience aside from life with which death is associated. It just somehow seems the safe thing to do. Call me crazy.
Jesus and porn – One Night Only�
If porn conventions are your thing, you might want to keep an eye out for a unique blessing from Craig Gross, a 32-year-old former youth pastor in Southern California who has taken to setting up booths for his XXX Church at adult entertainment events across the country.
For the last six years Gross and his band of teenage and twenty-something female volunteers, have been passing out deceptively packaged Bibles to attendees at events like last weekend�s Exxxotica convention in Miami Beach.
Believing that religion must go outside the church and directly to the sinner to spread the word, so to speak, Gross regularly stations himself alongside loudest-orgasm competitions blared over the loudspeakers, cowgirls writhing on mechanical bulls and scantily clad female entertainers shaking what their mamas gave them to make a stand against rampant internet pornography use. Sure sounds more interesting than Wednesday night bible study in the middle of nowhere!
Known as the Porn Pastor, Gross has reportedly become a welcome fixture on the adult entertainment scene. He also tours colleges and stages debates with porn legends like Ron Jeremy, all the while distributing a chunk of the New Testament under the title �Jesus loves porn stars� to anyone who will receive it. Because, of course, that�s what Jesus would do.
Go ahead... discuss among yourselves.
Airlines safer than ever?
Domestic airline service may well be the worst that it�s ever been but we can all take consolation in the fact that air travel itself is safer than ever.
According to preliminary annual figures from the National Transportation Safety Board of thje US, not a single person died during 2007 in accidents among larger scheduled U.S. airlines and smaller commuter aircraft. Moreover, deaths in private plane accidents dropped to 491, their lowest total in more than 40 years, the government reported Wednesday.
Hoorah so now that the airlines have got that death thing under control, maybe they can finally get that nasty little customer service attitude thing cleared up as well. Don�t hold your breath, but here�s hoping!
Until next time� Cheers!
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