ENTERTAINMENT NEWS Hollywood Celebrity Buzz Gossip So Good, It's Got To Be Gay Ross von Metzke | April 16, 2007 Bad boys, Jennifer Lopez, Willa Ford and more I have a thing for bad boys – don’t ask me why, I just do. If they look like they could screw for hours then make off with my wallet, I’m totally turned on… which is why the fact that Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler is a prick who has now been thrown in the slammer four times is, sadly, lost on me. Should I loathe him? Yes! Truth be told, should I even know who he is? Probably not – in fact, I’m still not quite sure I do know who he is. What I do know is that like many a spoiled rich brat who achieved a modicum of success thanks to some over-hyped reality series, Jason Wahler is a drunken prick – one of those kids who’s been closing down Hollywood hot spots since long before he was of legal drinking age in fact, according to his official My Space, he’s still 20. He curses and screws up a storm and, when he’s not doing that, he’s assaulting people and getting himself thrown in jail. But he looks like Colin Farrell and he’s hot, so for that reason alone, we post his photo. Word is Jason’s going to be spending a minimum of 60 days behind bars. Watch your ass in the showers, that’s all we’ve gotta say. Moving on, this is just one of those weeks where I’m surprising myself. Any of you who’ve read this column with more than a passing fancy over the years know that I can be a tad opinionated. Alright, I’m a bitch. But this week, I’m finding a whole lot of people I’ve previously hated redeeming themselves in my eyes, and I’m not quite sure what to make of it. First and foremost, a woman I have read up one wall and down the other – I’ve called her a bitch, I’ve called her over-exposed, I’ve questioned that she has any talent what-so-ever, and I’ve made it a point to say that without make-up and a dedicated team of stylist, she’d look like your average bitch riding the subway in NYC. I’m talking about Jennifer Lopez, who I had essentially written off as a waste of my time. OK, so I kind of liked her circa Out of Sight – “Waiting for Tonight” – The Cell, but by the time she was “Jenny from the Block” and sparring with Jane Fonda, I’d completely lost interest. Her piss-poor performance with Marc Anthony at the Grammys in which she brushed her hair and warbled completely off key was her lowest point – in that moment, I viewed her as talentless. America’s not quite ready to embrace JLo with arms wide open again – her latest album, the all Spanish Como Ama una Mujer, received middling reviews from critics and a lukewarm reception from fans. But I was completely blown away with what I saw on this week’s American Idol. Not only was she one of the most knowledgeable “mentors” to stop by the show this season (although with competition from a noticeably withdrawn Diana Ross, a teetering on senility Tony Bennett and an admittedly out of her league Gwen Stefani, it isn’t exactly fierce), by all accounts, she’s been one of, if not the, most genuinely interested in the success of these kids. Hell – she even mustered a pep talk for Sanjaya. And then there’s the performance. Now I’m not saying JLo’s the next Mariah (after all, she fits in her dress). I’m not even going to go so far as to say she has a particularly great voice. But Jennifer’s obviously been doing her homework, because she managed to do something I’ve never seen out of her before. She sang, on key no less, connected with the audience through her emotions, danced a little and, all in all, turned out one hell of a performance. And not one second of it was she lip-syncing. Talk about your 180. Check it out!. Next up – Willa Ford. Not sure who she is? No worries – she’s not anyone you’d have reason to know. Long story short, she screwed one of the Backstreet Boys back in the day, got labeled as pop’s bad girl, put out a single called “I Wanna Be Bad” and promptly did what Britney probably should have back in 2001 – dropped off the face of the Earth. She briefly resurfaced with a stint on Dancing With the Stars a couple years back, but she didn’t get very far, and given that her pop career was but a blip on the map of music, I’m not exactly sure you can justifiably call her a star. But she’s about to be. Oh yes, Willa is finally getting her name on the map as the actress lucky enough to be first in the race to chronicle Anna Nicole Smith’s life on screen. Who cares if Willa doesn’t look a damn thing like the former Guess? model – at her peak weight of 230 pounds, Anna Nicole didn’t look much like the former Guess? model. I’m not exactly sure what parts of Anna’s life this film will choose to focus on. Her marriage to an 83-year-old man on oxygen? Excessive alcohol and drug consumption? Food addiction? The death of her son? A life on the pole? No matter what the thesis statement at the center of the first of what’s likely to be many Anna tales turns out to be, it looks like someone finally found the right story for the “bad girl” of pop to sink her teeth into. Where there’s a Willa… I’m also feeling some love and respect for Ashleigh Banfield, a former MSNBC reporter who’s now doing time on Court TV. Now I’ve never really hated Ashleigh, but I have been known to devote more than a few passing minutes to critiquing the – um – “style choices” TV news women tend to make with regards to their hair, makeup and attire. Apparently, so has reporter Michael Savage – in the wake of Don Imus’ “nappy-headed hos” comment directed at the ladies of the Rutgers University basketball team, Banfield has come forward to say that back in 2003, Savage called her a slut on the air, going on to say she "looks like she went from porno into reporting". Banfield says absolutely nothing was done about the incident, though Savage was let go from MSNBC months later when he told a caller to “get AIDS and die.” Now I know reporters are supposed to maintain professionalism at all times, but I am telling you – if someone ever called Christiane Amanpour a slut on national television, she’d call in sources from the Taliban to take care of that shit stat. Oh come on – you know that girl has a little black book. Oh well – both bigots got their due in the end, which is all that really matters. And finally, on the subject of sluts, we’ve got a big one. Olivia Mojica, who’s music career has been even less successful than Willa Ford’s. She made the Top 24 on American Idol last year (apparently, Idol drama has gotten so heated, folks who don’t even make top 12 are riding the wave of success) and now, she’s got a sex tape. I have to wonder if she released it herself, simply because she’s not famous enough for someone else to bother. But unlike the sex tapes that had Paris Hilton nodding off and some lady getting ridden hard by Colin Farrell, this girl’s vocal. “I want you to f**k my p***y”, she screams at one point, moaning and writhing all over the bed throughout. Vivid video wants to sign her. Hey, if you can’t get a record deal… Alright folks, I’m gonna sign off. Thanks for playing, and remember – take the time to stop and smell the gossip! Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles. Previous edition My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps and more