Sex talk
Speaking of Big Guys

Simon Sheppard,

Bears, chubs, the frankly fat – they're all big men, and that makes plenty of guys' cocks hard.

"Bellies just turn me on," says one fellow who himself is slim. "I'm not sure why. They just do." And he's not alone; there's even a term in gay culture for folks like him – "chubby chasers."

Our chubby chaser continues, "I love to stroke a large guy's tummy, to feel his weight on me. And I like the way bigger boys look. I know that ripped and hunky is supposed to be the ideal, but give me a man with a few spare pounds on him, and I'm happy."

Lately, the rise of so-called "bear culture" has celebrated the masculinity of beards, beer bellies, and bonhomie. But fleshiness fanciers come in many varieties, and a lust for love-handles need not be tied to flannel shirts: Beefy fems and big businessmen have their fans, too. And every size has its seekers: There are men who idolize "muscle bears," others who lust after "husky but not fat," and those who believe "the bigger the better." One older man says, "I go to a lot of sex parties, and I noticed that, night after night, this one 50ish fellow who must have weighed upwards of 300 pounds was getting a lot of the boys I wanted. I guess I'm a slow learner, but I finally figured out that many young men didn't like him despite his size, but because of it."

Chunkiness runs counter to body-type tyranny within the queer community, with its too-common exclusionary emphasis on the buff and brawny. But as with any other sort of sexual objectification, a yen for girth is a two-edged sword. One big man says, "I was always teased about being fat while I was growing up, so it's great to have guys horny for me now. But sometimes I worry that men are after just my belly, and not the rest of me. I actually had one play buddy tell me he wouldn't be interested anymore if I went on a diet, and that sort of hurt, just like getting teased did." There can even be a "mercy fuck" aspect to chubby chasing - the rather cruel idea that, to paraphrase an old saying, "Fat guys are easy."

Then, too, in this era of increasing obesity, there are questions of physical well-being. Extra pounds can clearly be a problem for some men, so is it unhealthy to eroticize being overweight, same as with barebacking or smoking? A physical trainer says, "I doubt that many men are discouraged from getting in shape just because there are chasers out there. But – and I hope this doesn't sound insulting – the prospect of getting laid can be a real spur to dropping extra weight."

Whatever the reasons, whatever the implications, there will always be those of us – whatever our own weight – who like big guys. Ideally, that preferred poundage will be part of a fully appreciated package, but sometimes dicks don't give a damn about the finer points of human relations. Sure, those not into it might think it's silly that size matters, but some of them are no doubt chasing after an extra inch or two of cockmeat.

As our chubby chaser says, "Listen, I'd rather not be with gym bunnies who spend every waking moment worrying about their waist size. Maybe big guys aren't all relaxed and emotionally generous, but I can live with that. I just want a nice, meaty butt to fuck."

And that really doesn't seem like too enormous a request.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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