FEATURE Sex talk Speaking of Blow-and-Goes Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com "This young man who's into older guys comes over every once in a while," says a 40-something fellow, "and sucks me off. He comes in, gets on his knees, blows me, makes one or two minutes of small talk, and leaves. That's it till the next time. He's really good-looking, and great at what he does. So it's all good, right?" He pauses. "Only sometimes I find myself wanting a bit more." The blow-and-go is a mainstay of male/male casual sex. It's definitely efficient, often depersonalized, and for many men, undeniably hot. Says one devoted fellator, "I love reducing sex to its barest essentials: a hard-on, a mouth, and a squirt." If it's true that men can be pigs, blow-and-go sex is a wallow in the sty at its most basic. No emotional entanglements, no expectations. Just orality and orgasm. Enthuses our fellator, "Unlike fucking, it doesn't require lube or a lengthy clean-up afterward, just a Kleenex or two." In this workaholic age, all but the busiest boys can squeeze a speedy suck into their schedules. And thanks to the Internet, it's easier than ever to order out. There need not be a bed available – any place big enough for two will do. But the 40-something man muses, "Sure, we all have our needs, and that includes the need to get off. Still, is a 10-minute encounter really all that rewarding?" It can be, says a guy into quickies. "If I did only blow-and-goes, because I was unable or unwilling to ever have more involved, less impersonal sex, that might worry me. But it's just one of the many things I get into, the sexual equivalent of fast food. Sure, a leisurely gourmet meal can be nice. But so can gobbling down a juicy, dripping burger. And besides," he smiles, "I have a steady boyfriend." Sure enough, quick sucks are often favored by partnered guys, whether they're in open relationships or just plain cheating. The more casual the contact, the thinking goes, the less of a threat it poses to an ongoing relationship. Getting blown with no strings attached has appealed to many a supposedly straight suckee, too. And it's safer than anal sex, though oral sex can still transmit STDs...which is why a rubber's not a bad idea, especially if spooge in the mouth is in the offing. Many submissive suckers have a kinky yen for suck sessions that are nasty, brutish, and short. Says one, "I like to have a man come over, stand over me, drop his pants, and tell me just what to do. I won't even bother to strip, much less play with myself. I just keep sucking his dick till he's satisfied." Some observers of the gay scene decry the objectification and depersonalization of blow-and-go sex. "It's all about fear of intimacy," diagnoses one. But others feel, as one sex radical says, "One of the best reasons to put up with the crap of being gay is that we don't have to adhere to straight sexual standards. And plenty of very involved sex – complete with dating, commitment ceremonies, the works – can be as damaging to those concerned as any quick blowjob in the dark." Quickies, after all, can express affection and tenderness, too, if only for an instant. And, for many a gay guy, there's just something powerfully archetypal about going up to a stranger, getting on your knees, and taking his manhood in your mouth. And most men into "just sex" encounters do in fact manage to live rich, fulfilling lives. So whether you're out for a mouthful – or conversely, you long to feel your dick enveloped by velvety lips and a wet, warm throat – a blow-and-go might be just what you'd go for. Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion Sex Talk: Other Subjects G-Men dating Phone 082 239 9340 or 082 239 9350 for live chat NOW!