Sex talk
Speaking of Businessmen

Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

Yes, working 9 to 5 can be a drag. But it can also be a fetish.

Even in a gay world where butch archetypes like the leatherman and the hardhat claim cachet, there's a sizable fan base for men in suits and ties. Call it a yen for "mild trade." Says one businessman-fancier, "I'm excited by the idea that hidden beneath that tailored facade, there's a potential sexual beast, a big, swinging dick in Brooks Brothers boxers."

Where some might see only white-collar drones, others see suited studs ready to doff their work duds and get down to sex. Another enthusiast gushes, "When I'm in a locker room, there's something a lot hotter about watching a man take off a business suit than shed a T-shirt and jeans."

At least one kinky daddy has been known to cater to a taste for the corporate, attending leather parties in a three-piece suit instead of chaps. "It not only gets me attention," says he, "but also opens the door to all sorts of offbeat play. And hell, I am an executive in real life. "

Sure enough, there's a whole file-cabinetful of office-oriented porn out there. You know, the stuff where Mr. Boss calls in the eager young assistant and promptly gets him sprawled pants-less over his desk. And it's a fantasy with some basis in fact. Says one corporate underling, "I've had gay bosses in the past, some of them pretty damn attractive. When you spend a big chunk of your time with the same men, week in and week out, you can get pretty horny, and develop crushes on co-workers. So sometimes, the office restroom plays host to nonapproved employee recreation."

Sure, mixing sex and work is almost always a really bad idea. Morning-after regrets can make things hellishly awkward around the water cooler, and ongoing affairs can bring oft-justified charges of favoritism. And in situations where career-crushing threats are at least implicitly involved, sexual harassment is a very real threat. But the fact that office-oriented orgasms are forbidden can make the fantasy all the hotter.

As Henry Kissinger posited, power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Bosses have a plentiful supply of that, of course, and plenty of employment-based play reflects it. "I love to fuck around with a guy in an expensive-looking suit," says a status-conscious submissive. "There's nothing like groveling at the well-shined shoes of a man whose hard-on is sticking out of Armani dress pants."

As with any power-based sex, the tables can be turned. Says one punkish type, "I've done a scene with a middle-aged businessman type – in his office, as a matter of fact, though it was on a Sunday – where I pretended to be a bike messenger and really worked him over."

Getting back at a role-played "boss" can be even more extreme. There's a subspecies of "gunge" – a kink involving flinging massive amounts of messy food around – that involves dumping pudding and pie on a suited submissive. That kind of cock-hardening conspicuous consumption can be massively messy fun, if you can get beyond the children-are-starving wastefulness of it...and the dry-cleaning bills.

But for most gay guys, screwing the CEO has a simpler appeal. A big-business boss is a symbol of masculine authority, after all, and what's sexier than that? And since many of us had office-bound fathers, businessman fetishism can be a fun-filled alternative to a Daddy/boy scene.

So why not turn "work" into play? The Village People may be staying at the YMCA, but the objects of many guys' desires are headed for AT&T; instead.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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