Sex talk
Speaking of Dildo Play

Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

Hey, dude, shove it up your ass.

Or someone else's.

"I don't know why some people look down on using dildos," says one anally oriented guy. "When you do it right, playing with toys is, after all, safe and lots of fun."

And sure enough, he's right. Dildos – whether vein-laden and anatomically correct or art deco sleek – may not be the "real thing," but they may in some ways be even better. A dildo is the date that never goes soft, and unlike a boyfriend's basket, you can order one in just the size you like.

"It takes me a while to come, and having my butt filled really helps," confides one young stud. "I can outlast a lot of tops, so I like to carry an anal toy or two along when I go out on a date. I tell my partner ahead of time, though, just to make sure he knows I'm not saying he's inadequate, just that I'm insatiable."

Plenty of tops like dildos, too. "As I get older, I find that condoms make it tougher for me to stay hard when I'm screwing someone," says a middle-aged man. "With a toy, I can work a guy's hole as long and hard as he likes. And I can work him from both ends simultaneously, sliding a dildo up his butt while my dick is in his mouth. Plus, I can go get a beer and still keep him filled."

And then there are those kinky folks who simply get off on shoving foreign objects – sometimes, big, thick foreign objects – up other men's behinds. It's an erotic moment than can seem dominating, even degrading, or can, conversely, be all about providing pleasure to another guy.

The delightful dildo works well for solo sex, too. Many men with anal appetites find plastic pricks to be marvelous masturbation pals. "I can get my favorite toy to hit my prostate just right," says one satisfied user. "That's more than I can say for most of my sex partners."

Many devoted dildo fans build up a collection of constructed cocks, often in increasing sizes and girths. Consumer capitalism being what it is, dildos come in a dizzying array of shapes, sizes, colors, and materials. And, as with other purchases, a bit of research and budget-stretching can pay off in the end. Soft rubber jobbies can be hard to keep clean, while vinyl models are easier to wash, but stiffer. To many men's tastes, top-of-the-line silicone dicks are just firm enough, with a pleasantly smooth surface, and they can be sterilized by boiling them in water.

(Whatever dildo you choose, make sure it has balls or a base, so it can't slip all the way in and get lost up there. And dinguses stiffened with a can-hurt-you metal wire or shaft are strictly a no-no.)

Unlike latex-sheathed cocks, most dildos can be safely slicked up with oils and greasy lubes. But if flesh-penis fucking is also on the menu, globs of stray grease or a Crisco-basted butt present a big breakage risk to rubbers. And you should never, ever share toys during a scene unless you wrap them in a fresh condom every time, or clean them scrupulously between uses.

Regardless, the vast majority of queer men would agree that dildo maintenance is a lot simpler than the care and feeding of a boyfriend. Dildos are never late for a date, and after you've come, they don't insist on boring you with chitchat about their annoying roommate or their new computer.

So bring on those ever-ready shafts of passion. Remember: It's not an imitation anything. It's a real dildo.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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