Sex talk
Speaking of Faces

Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

A face of beauty is a joy for fucking. And plenty of us judge a potential partner by facial features alone. At least sometimes.

"I can be at a bar or on a street corner," says one gay guy who's rather handsome himself, "when I'll see a fellow and think, 'My God! He's just so beautiful.' And my dick will get hard."

Our faces are our out-front representatives to the world at large, and just a slight movement of the mouth can convey cock-hungry longing. If a picture is worth the proverbial thousand words, then a look of lust is worth a whole porn magazine.

The real problem of face-centric cruising is that...well, beauty is only skin deep. Says another fellow, "Some really good-looking men are wonderful, but others are stuck-up jerks. It may be unfair that sexual success depends so much on the exact curve of a man's nose or the shape of his eyes, but that's life."

Research suggests that even infants perceive some facial patterns more positively than others. But standards of beauty certainly vary from culture to culture and year to year. And though many men are hung up on traditional standards of handsomeness, not everyone is in search of the perfect male model; plenty of queers seek out the quirky. "It's not really a mercy-fuck thing," says one such man, "but I do have a taste for men with crooked teeth, ears that stick out, that sort of thing. Not ugly, just unconventional. And it doesn't hurt if a fellow has a fun-loving twinkle in his eye."

Often, emotional needs get projected onto others' appearance – someone in search of a sensitive soul is unlikely to fall for a man with a permanent snarl. Sure, a guy who looks sweet may in fact be a self-centered shit, and that butch-looking brute may be a big ol' marshmallow, but – at least at first – most of us believe our eyes.

Eventually, getting to know someone – carnally and otherwise – allows us to see him more multi-dimensionally. And partners who grow old together find beauty in each other's aging faces that may escape the world at large. But there still can be great pleasure in, as one top puts it, "looking down and seeing a really handsome stranger sucking my hard-on."

Of course, there's sexual play where physical appearance takes a back seat...or is off the bus altogether. Phone sex is all about the sound of another guy's voice, not the shape of his chin. Glory-hole blowjobs keep the sucker sight unseen, and there are dark-as-night orgy rooms where touch is the sense that really matters. One kinky bottom recalls, "I had an ongoing fuckbuddy relationship with this man who contacted me online, but I never once saw his face. He'd leave a blindfold by his front door, and I'd put it on before I went in. It made our bondage and spanking scenes even hotter for me, because I could focus more totally on what I was feeling. But I sometimes do wonder what he looked like."

Conversely, some dominant dudes prefer that their bottoms be masked or hooded. "That way," says one leathermaster, "the guy I'm playing with can be anyone I want him to be."

Most of us, though, are swept away by the perfect pair of lips, the astonishing pair of eyes. Sure, your mother always told you to look below the surface, but how many of us get horny when we spot someone with a beautiful soul? Whether a Hollywood-star-handsome homo or the guy whose visage is "interesting," a man's neck-up looks often lead to nookie.

Might as well face it.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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