Sex talk
Speaking of Fingers

Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

> bedfellow.com Most of us have ten of 'em: five right, five left. Our fingers are some of the best sex toys we have on hand.

There are, of course, the amazing things our fingers can do when we play with ourselves. But it's when we play with others that fingers really shine. Gently used, fingers stroke. With more force, they can probe and tickle, squeeze nipples and balls. Many cocksuckers love to suck fingers as well, stretching the mouth wide for a handful.

And, maybe best of all, there's what happens when fingers meet asshole. Many an anal bottom finds digital assplay every bit as delightful as full-fledged fucking. A cock up the butt certainly has its pleasures, but fingers – more flexible, bendable, and versatile – can also do amazingly pleasurable things.

A guy need not be experienced in getting fucked to find fingers fun. Indeed, finger play is a great way to explore the potential pleasures of anal eroticism. Gentle rubbing of the outside of the hole is a good place to start, getting a man accustomed to having someone else playing with his nether parts. And the pad of the thumb, well-lubricated, can gradually press its way inside. Sphincter muscles are strong, but can be coaxed into relaxing, and that's when the pleasures of penetration start. (Though not everyone feels that way. "I find it easier and more comfortable to take a penis inside me than a finger," says one man. "I guess the thicker shaft just persuades me to open wide.")

After a bit of sliding and stroking, the bottom's butt might be ready to take a second finger, or even a fourth. Unlike a dick's basic, piston-like stroke, fingers are capable of all sorts of anus-exciting choreography. Rotating the fingers back and forth, perhaps pumping in and out, will open the hole wide. Quick, small motions turn the fingers into an all-organic vibrator. And hooking a finger or two in the right direction provide direct stimulation of the prostate gland – the male G-spot – providing waves of ecstatic sensations and intensified orgasms.

The top, meanwhile, gets the pleasure of penetrating his partner and providing sexual joy, and many guys enjoy the power-trip aspects of it, too. And if the top craves direct stimulation, his other hand can easily do the jack-off work. Perhaps even better, with a bit of acrobatics the bottom guy can suck the top's cock while the fingerfucking progresses, creating a red-hot circuit of sex.

While fingerfucking may lack some of the risks of cock-based intercourse, there are still safety tips to keep in mind. If the top has any cuts on his hand, blood-borne diseases – including hepatitis and HIV – can be transmitted, so latex gloves are advisable. If a glove is unavailable, a rolled-down rubber can pinch hit as finger protection. Lots of water-based lubricant will keep things good and slippery, and the top's fingernails should be well-trimmed. And, of course, the butt is full of nasty bugs that should be kept out of another person's mouth or ass. Conveniently, when latex gloves are peeled off, they turn themselves inside out, making it easier to tidy up. A gentle douche beforehand will also keep things cleaner.

Queer men get to make their own rules about sex. There's no reason to privilege penile intercourse; fingerfucking can serve as a warm-up for sticking a dick in, but it also can be a totally thrilling end in itself. Fingers, unlike dildos and vibrators, are ever-ready sex toys we always carry with us. No need to pack. And, unlike those sometimes-finicky dickies, there's never a problem with getting fingers stiff. So thank goodness for our digits, from thumb to pinky – little sex machines, each one.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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