Sex talk
Speaking of Hotel Rooms

Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

Does checking in get you off? From the Motel 6 to the Ritz, once the "Do Not Disturb" sign gets hung on the knob, all sorts of hot hotel stuff can happen. It's like staying at a sex club with room service.

"I really enjoy having sex in hotel rooms," says one frequent traveler. "I love that feeling of things being very temporary, of neither of us being in our normal environments."

When you're in a strange city, behind closed doors, you can be whoever you want to be. A wimpy married man can be a queer stud. A vanilla virgin can try his hand at kink. Not to worry, though: If things don't work out, the key code will be changed the next day.

Are you a tourist who wants to screw? Easy. In this Internet age, it's a pretty simple matter to get some stranger to come over to your hotel and share both your dick and that little bottle of shampoo. And because the date has a built-in check-out time, there's a mutual understanding that whatever happens isn't meant to last. All the intensity, with none of the commitment.and a free copy of USA Today, to boot.

Just the trip to the guest room can be of bit of an adventure. The walk through the lobby, the elevator up, finding the room – it's a whole little sexual odyssey before you even hit the sheets. And once you walk in and meet Mr. Fuck-the-one-you're-with, his luggage in a corner, his inevitable laptop on the inevitable table by the window, there's no pretending the two of you aren't there to have sex. Away from the telltale signifiers of his home environment, a naked man with a hard cock is just that – no more, no less.

There are gay resort hotels where sex – or at least cruising – is clearly on the menu; there's nothing like sitting around a clothing-optional pool beneath the Palm Springs sun to get the mercury rising. But it can be even more fun to do the nasty where it feels transgressive. "After a hard night of S/M in a fancy hotel room," grins a leatherman, '"it's great to get in an elevator full of unsuspecting families and then walk past the concierge desk carrying a backpack full of whips and ropes. I just feel so nasty."

Even less luxurious digs have their charms. One gay guest says, "My steady buddy and I like to rent a room in a cheap motel and go at it. It's a little bit sleazy and a whole lot of fun. Somehow we end up getting into things we might never do in our own bedrooms." Of course, those thin walls might give the people in the neighboring rooms an earful – talk about a "smoking room."

And after the fun is done, hotels hold one final advantage over your own bedroom: Someone else will tidy up the chaos. One guy into "gunge" – messy scenes involving food – likes to lay the hotel's shower curtains down on the floor and let the vanilla pudding fly. "My dates and I do our best to clean up after ourselves, but I'm sure the maids wonder why there's a pile of towels smeared with whipped cream in the middle of the bathroom floor."

Fucking anywhere can be a vacation, but nookie in a hotel – whether with your steady honey or with a stranger off the streets – can be like going to a raunchy resort. And, unlike the complex safety rules that lust sometimes involves, good advice for hotel-room homosex can be summed up in just two words: Try Priceline.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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