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SPONSORED FEATURE
Dick Talk
The well-dressed dick
Dick Masters
Men have been keeping condoms in their back pockets, or under their togas,
for centuries. Not because they were worried that their next amorous
encounter could result in fatherhood, but to protect their willies from
nasty bugs like syphilis and gonorrhoea. Condom use in the AIDS era
continues that time honoured tradition.
The now familiar latex condom has only been readily available since the 1930
's. Their forerunner, made from vulcanised rubber, was first mass-produced
by Goodyear in 1844.
Before that, if we go back five thousand years, King Minos of Crete used
fish bladders. Then those decadent Romans, who also gave us the word condom
from the Latin condon, or 'receptacle', used the muscle tissue of warriors
they defeated in battle. In the 15 00's linen condoms were the vogue, then
in the 17 00's animal intestines were de rigueur for the fashionable dick.
Pricey, they were used again and again until they fell apart. Condoms made
from sheep intestines, presumably particularly popular in the Australian
outback, were still widely used in the 1940's and 50's. After use, they
would be washed and covered in petroleum jelly to keep them supple enough
for the next bonk.
Quite how reliable bladders or intestines were as condoms, I'm not sure, but
today's condoms, as long as they are used correctly, with a water-based
lubricant, are nearly 100% fool proof. The condoms distributed by the
Department of Health in South Africa are manufactured to World Health
Organisation specifications and are often tested to higher standards then
those sold at your local pharmacy. Fancy packaging doesn't guarantee a
safer condom. One way to end up with a ruptured condom is to put on two at
the same time. Instead of doubling the protection the additional friction
can result in both condoms failing.
Despite their life-saving qualities, condoms are far too often discarded
before, rather than after use. The sight of a condom can make the most
battle hardened dick limp. One of the stranger remedies is to rub your dick
with nettles; the resulting stinging tingle is reputed to keep a rebellious
dick hard and throbbing. Or you can try a piercing. A Prince Albert puts
pressure against the frenulum and urethra during penetration, so creating
more intense sensations. The more usual, but less exotic or painful remedy
is to practise all by yourself without any pressure to perform. If you wank
often enough whilst wearing a condom and watching your favourite porn movie,
your dick should eventually realise what's expected of it. Or how about that
little blue pill, Viagra? That should keep it up no matter how thick the
latex.
It's not just the limp dick syndrome, or the increase in sensation, that
keeps men from rubbering up. There are the bare-back devotees, who fuck
without a condom because they feel it is not just a physical barrier, but an
emotional barrier between themselves and their partner. Dispensing with a
condom can be seen as a symbol of trust and intimacy. An HIV negative man,
who has a lover or friends that are positive, can feel excluded by his
negative status. To belong, he may feel that he too needs to be infected. A
scary state of mind.
For Sigmund Freud the reason for not using condoms was a little different.
He believed that fears of pregnancy or infection would result in neuroses.
He ended up with six children before choosing abstinence over protective
sex.
Nazi Germany prohibited condom use for yet another reason. Their citizens
were expected to be prolific breeders and so help to create the perfect
one-race world of 'Aryans'. But the Nazi military pragmatically took the
opposite approach and supplied condoms to its soldiers so as to keep them on
the front lines rather than crowding the hospitals with cases of syphilis
and gonorrhoea.
In 1942 the American armed forces found a novel use for condoms. They were
issued to soldiers, to cover and protect their rifle barrels from salt
water, as they waded ashore during the landing at Dunkirk. That wasn't the
only use for condoms by the American military. Recognising the danger of STD
's, World War II training films urged, "Don't forget - put it on before you
put it in". A slogan that is as apt today as it was then.
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