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SPONSORED FEATURE
Dick Talk
The working willy
Dick Masters
Man's favourite companion, his dick, does seem have a mind of its own at
times. Sometimes inappropriately hard ['is that a cell phone in your
pocket?'], and sometimes, when it is expected to be a fine upstanding member
of society, infuriatingly soft.
It can also seem to have a personality all of its own. Is that a dickish
sense of humour when it inexplicably decides to peep out of the top of your
speedo when you are trying to be cool by the pool? And is it just being
bloody-minded when the hunk you have been eyeing finally says 'come let's
play', and your dick yawns and says 'not tonight, thanks"?
Who is in charge of whom? Who is in control? Joe Orton, the controversial
queer British playwright, seemed to think it was the dick that was in
control when he suggested that a man is just a life support system for his
penis.
While we work away in a stuffy office so that we can pay the bills, and
support our dicks in the style to which they have become accustomed, our
dicks laze around all day snugly tucked up in our jocks. There are some
guys that have the right idea. In exchange for all the pampering and
cosseting, they make their dicks work for their living.
Working dicks seem to do best in the entertainment business. Some have more
of a leading role than others do. All that a porn star has to do, is make
sure that he has a buff body, a sun-lamp tan, and if he is fortunate enough
to have an adequately proportioned dick, voila! He gets his dick to pump
and grind in front of a film crew and cameras for a few hours, and the bills
get paid. That's one way of showing who's the boss. Then there are porn
stars like Jeff Stryker who have made their dicks work over-time by casting
a mild, and selling silicone replicas of their dicks as dildos.
There are those dicks that are cast as bit players. Their owners do a hard
days work, with their dicks on display as an accessory. Tune in to
NakedNews.Com, and you can watch a hot news presenter telling you what
happened today in Iraq with all his wobbly bits in full view. If you get
bored with what is being said, just watch the wobbles. A lot more fun than
an SABCTV news bulletin.
Then there are the barmen at The Factory, who sweat away, dicks swaying, as
they serve drinks to the customers. Would they sell as many drinks, and
would their tips be as big, if their dicks weren't participating?
Two hot Ausies have gone a step further. Their dicks are given the starring
role. Simon Morley and David Friend twist their ample willies into creative
cock installations in an unsurprisingly popular show, 'Puppetry of the Penis'.
Described as 'shocking, hilarious, ridiculous and raw' they manipulate their
dicks into various shapes, objects and landmarks, everything from a
hamburger to the Eiffel Tower. A video camera projects every intimate
detail onto a large screen ensuring that no-one in the audience misses a
crease or a fold. They have been to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and a
five-month run in London's West End, and eight months off-Broadway. One of
these days we should be seeing them in South Africa.
Morley describes a private party in London, for A-list celebs, as surreal.
It sounds it. Can you imagine plaiting your dick while being upside down and
naked, and looking up the dresses of Posh Spice and Naomi Campbell, as Elton
John holds your ankles?
One wonders what David Beckham was thinking as he looked on. Could he have
resisted trying his hand at a little genital origami when he got home? He
unfortunately makes a perfectly adequate living kicking a ball around,
without putting his dick out to work. But I'm sure the Beckham dick,
knotted into a representation of the Brighton Pier or Buckingham Palace
would be a huge hit. Something for him to think about.
Visit The Factory, South Africa's only naked, men-only club
Chat: Sex in weird places
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