FEATURE Sex talk Speaking of Anal Sex Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com Pack those condoms, guys: It's time for a trip down the good old Hershey Highway, where the rubber meets the road. For such a pleasant, pleasure-giving spot, the anus gets more than its share of disrespect. Even some very queer men find the neighborhood a bit...distasteful. Yes, the anus is used to dispose of solid waste, but the well-trained ass is a multitasker. It may not be the most spotlessly hygienic place, but that's no reason to stay away. The butthole is, after all, a primo erogenous zone; not all the overzealous toilet training in the world can undo that. With care, patience, and optional douching, the nerve-rich ass can provide pleasures galore. "I just love the feel of a butt opening up for me," says one happy humper. "Not only does it make my hard-on feel great, I feel a real closeness when I'm inside a guy, emotional as well as physical." And things feel at least as great on the other side of the fuck – on the bottom end. It's not just the anal nerves that sing; a hard-on's direct stimulation of the prostate gland can send shivers of delight up Bottomboy's spine. "There's nothing," says one satisfied fuckee, "like being plowed by a power top, getting plowed for a good, long time." Novices often think that being banged means pain, but it all depends on readiness, relaxation, and really big globs of lube. Getting fucked should feel really, really good. The first time can often feel weird, like having to go to the bathroom, but with some practice, interpreting all those sensations as what they are – pleasure – becomes second nature. Practice, as they say, makes perverted, uh, perfect. "I've read more than once," says one literate fellow, "that getting humped three days in a row is a good way to get hooked on it." Endurance does have its limits, though; some guys get sorer than others, and the anal lining, though stretchy, is delicate (which is one reason why condoms are a must for safe anal sex). Even the happiest hole may feel a bit of discomfort at first, but if pain continues, something's wrong – withdrawal and reassessment are called for. When a bottom's facial expression morphs from a blissed-out grin to a gritting of teeth, it's time for the top to take a break. With the advent of HIV, whatever anxieties guys had about anal sex took a nasty swerve. It's important to feel relaxed and secure about buttfucking; it makes the whole experience much more enjoyable. A trusting asshole is an easy-to-enter asshole, the sort least likely to provide a daunting, deflating barrier to a latex-sheathed shaft. So remember: properly-used condoms, while not absolutely foolproof, do get the risk of HIV transmission way, way, way down, and the risk-reducing strategy of having the condomized top pull out before shooting is a valid one, the kind of thing mutually decided on beforehand. It is, after all, important to leave your mind clear for all the thoroughly delightful sensations of anal penetration. Because anal sex can be so intense, and because the world at large views buttsex as "What Only Queer Men Do," there's a temptation to think of anal penetration as "real gay sex," and all the other fun stuff as somehow second-rate. But that's just silly; even if all you ever do is jack off another guy, no one's going to take away your Gay Card. As one perfectly homosexual man puts it, "I tried anal sex from both directions, but didn't really enjoy it. Sucking's what I really enjoy, so sucking's what I do." Which certainly seems reasonable enough. Posterior pleasure, like any libidinal fun, is strictly optional, and don't let anybody tell you different. But if you are into anal sex, knowing what you're doing, and doing it carefully and well, should make your sphincter, schlong, or both – and your partner's, too – very happy indeed. Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion Sex Talk: Other Subjects G-Men dating Phone 082 239 9340 or 082 239 9350 for live chat NOW!