Sex talk
Speaking of Cuddling

Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

Even in these days of pricey sex toys and far-flung kinkiness, sometimes the simplest pleasures are the best. The quest for the perfect orgasm is all well and good, but even the most self-assured cocksman might pause for a moment of tender affection, and that's where cuddling comes in. "Man, there's nothing like snuggling up to someone you love," says one romantic young guy.

Another fellow, one who's middle-aged, concurs: "My partner and I have been together nearly nine years. We still have sex – which is a blessing – and sometimes it's still spectacular. But really, there's nothing nicer than sleeping like spoons through the night."

The spoon position – both boys on their sides, maintaining back-to-front full body contact – is a perennial favorite, and just about anyone can get it right. Unlike the contortions of the Kama Sutra, the biggest difficulty is figuring out what to do with an awkward arm. There are plenty of other positional possibilities, too. But whether you're fully clothed and face-to-face, or lying nude in the crook of a lover's arm, comfort and contact are the common cuddling denominators.

Though snuggling seems sweet and safe, it can be way sexy, too. After a tough day or a trying night, comforting hugs can turn to kissing, and pretty soon dicks are involved. Or cuddling can be postcoital; after a frenzied fuck, it can be lovely to cool down in your partner's arms...as long as you avoid the wet spot. One man who sleeps around a lot confides, "If a trick likes to lie around in my arms after sex, that's a sure sign he's boyfriend material."

On the other hand, men into hypermasculinity or fellows on the down low might find bodies intertwined in a show of affection to be too sentimental or sissified. And homophobes who might understand the lust of a good man-to-man blowjob – even if they disapprove – may be dismayed or even baffled by the notion of two men tenderly showing love.

For the rest of us, though, high-voltage sexual thrills are only one component of being queer, and there's nothing unmanly about craving another guy's touch. Online cruisers might even come across ads by cuddle-craving men who issue sleepover invitations to like-minded guys. "OK, maybe I get lonely," says a bear fancier. "There's nothing unusual about that, and there's nothing like snuggling up with a furry guy to make me feel better. Especially if I wake up to feel his hairy belly against my back and his hard cock pressing on my butt. And hey, if all else fails, there's always my teddy." In fact, the urge to snuggle is so ingrained that you can buy a body-sized cuddling cushion to hold in your arms when there's no one else around; it can also be a practice partner for those unfortunates who enjoy snuggling up, but find it tough to go to sleep that way.

And if there's more than just one someone else around, a multi-person cuddle – sometimes called a "puppy pile" – is a surefire way to cement group solidarity, as well as keep warm on a snowy night. A sex-party fan enthuses, "One of the nicest things about group sex is being in a bunch of friendly naked guys all tangled up together. It's just so cozy, in a totally erotic way."

So whether tucked up with your boyfriend beneath a quilt on a perfect spring morning, or lying with your head on his belly while you watch TV, try a little physical tenderness. It feels simply great.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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