Sex talk
Speaking of Facials

Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

Spooge! Right in the kisser!

In porn-speak, the "facial" has precious little to do with a beautician doling out cucumber face masks – though cucumbers of a sort are involved. Rather, it's all a matter of cum, glorious cum. All over the face, dripping down in hot, salty-sweet streams. It's an erotic image that gives many a guy a stiffy, and making it happen in real life can be a wet joy. (The Japanese, no strangers to pervy fun themselves, even have a special term for it – "bukkake.")

Facials can be viewed a couple of ways (same as with, say, oral sex). Is the top "humiliating" the bottom by shooting a load on him? Or is the bottom getting just what he wants – a nice, big load of cream – from his topman? In het porn, it seems – made for straight men don't know just how valuable a commodity jism is – the humiliation scenario tends to prevail. Not so when it comes to queer men, who are probably sperm's greatest fans. "God," says one cocksucker, "my biggest fantasy is to be surrounded by a gang of men, me sucking and jacking them till they all shoot all over my face."

Still, for them what likes a bit o' degradation, playing the humiliation card can be a winner. More than one nasty top has been heard to mutter, "Yeah, you're nothing but a cum sponge" as he shoots his load onto the upraised face of a pussyboy pal.

And what's the pleasure for the obliging top? "I get off on jacking myself right before a guy's eyes, showing off in his face, then shooting gobs right on him, watching him bathing in it." So says one man with an active dick and a good aim. "It's like a nasty, sperm-laden baptism."

One need not get so poetic, of course, to understand the intimate appeal of a good creambath – it kind of just hits you in the face. But, of course, not everyone is a big facial fan. "I prefer it in a rubber up my butt, or down my throat," says one fuckable-but-fastidious bottomboy. "It's a lot less sloppy. I hate when it dries in my goatee and makes a crusty mess." Oh well, so much for romance.

In porn videos, facials often serve a plot-driven purpose; when it comes to oral sex scenes, the facial is the "money shot" – the visual proof of climax. But in real life, facials can serve the cause of safer sex. Let's face it (so to speak), few queer guys get off on sucking a rubberized dick. And, though the risk of oral sex is relatively small, it's spooge in the mouth that makes things riskiest. Having Mr. Top pull out of your jaws and blow his load all over your eager visage will lower the risk even further. Is it risk free? Well, you don't want to get the spray on an open cut or sore, or dripping down into your mouth. And do keep it from getting in your eyes; not only can that theoretically transmit HIV, it burns like a motherfucker.

But for most guys into getting facials, the biggest risk of protein-in-the-puss is that they'll end up wanting yet another load. And another. And another still. Hooray for DNA!

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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