Sex talk
Speaking of Massage

Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

Massage fans know that the laying on of hands can feel as sexy as getting laid. The human body is full of erogenous zones, from the earlobes to the feet, so restricting sensuality to dicks and butts impoverishes the possibilities of eroticism. And orgasm, like massage, is a matter of releasing tension. So why not enjoy a hand job all over?

Anyone who's perused sex ads knows that hustlers often sell themselves as "masseurs," which irritates many nonsexual masseurs. But one rub-downer counters, "I'm in the business of giving pleasure to men. If he wants a full release, and I reach down and get him off, to me it's just a part of the massage, though a wet one."

In the nonprofessional world, online message boards feature ads from men who want to either give or get free massages, including spurts or not. Says one of them, a middle-aged fellow, "It gives me a lot of joy to get my hands on a naked male body, so I offer free massage. If the guy doesn't want me to jack him off, that's actually fine. A massage can be very erotic without any genital groping...though often a man will change his mind midway."

Nonsexual touching can serve as foreplay to something stiffer, of course. Many's the college fling that started with a friendly, "You're looking tense. Want a back rub?" And even explicitly sexual dates might start with a sensual rubdown. The trimmings can be seductive: candlelight, soft music, and warmed oil, and soon the naked body lying before you will be putty in your hands. "It's a way to loosen up a new buddy," says one young man, "to get him to feel at ease."

Great massage is, of course, an acquired skill. If you want to thrill a boyfriend, a trick, or a mate, taking a class or at least reading a good how-to book will be a huge help. But even novices can do a decent job, if they are careful not to do harm and are good at reading body language.

Of course, that body language can include dirty words. As the middle-aged masseur points out, "If you're stroking a guy's butt and he starts humping the mattress, the message is unmissable. So are the signs when a masseur presses his hard dick up against the thigh of his subject. Works for me."

If you're the one who needs to be kneaded, be clear about what you're looking for. Assuming you're up for an amateur, let him know if you're looking to come and whether reciprocation is a possibility, and make sure he is an amateur. Mind if he's nude? Want to keep your undies on? Negotiation is fine, though once he gets his hands on you and you begin to relax, boundaries may be subject to change.

"It's interesting," says our mid-life body rubber, "how many straight-identified men answer my ads. I remember this one het surfer guy with really tense muscles. He was very clear he wasn't looking for sex, but once I started in on his shoulders, he rolled over and showed me the prettiest erection. I obligingly got him off, though he wouldn't let me blow him. No reciprocation; it wasn't till I got home that I came. But you know, I felt like I got the best of that encounter."

So whether you're a certified masseur with table and oils, or just someone who likes to down a couple of beers and give a foot massage, let your fingers do the walking. And if you're the one being worked on, just lie back and enjoy. It's all a matter of touch, and sometimes it's the soft strokes that get you hard.

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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