Sex talk
Speaking of Oral Technique

Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

www.badpuppy.com Great cocksuckers are made, not born.

"When I started out going down on men," says a fellow in his mid-30s, "I really didn't know what I was doing. It was an effort just to keep my teeth out of the way. Now, of course, my sucking skills are praised far and wide."

So what are the secrets of superior sucking? As with just about any sort of sexual technique, rule numero uno is: Find out what feels good to you and do that to the other guy. Not to convince you to be a slut, but face it – the more guys who've licked your stick, the greater the chances your penis will be pleased by some truly fabulous fellators. "I've been in an open relationship for years," says one fellow, "but suddenly my boyfriend became an amazing cocksucker. When I praised him, he said, 'Yeah, I've learned a lot from my new blowjob buddy. He really knows how to give head.'"

Not everyone is wired the same, of course, and besides, some of us have foreskins and others don't. So not every mouth move is going to feel equally great to everyone. Still, there are some tip-tingling tips for novices to keep in mind.

Remember that it's not just a matter of how much you can jam between your jaws. One need not rush to go all the way down; the base of the cock is one of its least sensitive areas. Take your time. Pay attention to all the little stops along the way. Kiss the head. Lick the shaft. Pay particular attention to penile sweet spots: The frenum, that little flap thingy just south of the underside of the head, is particularly sensitive, as is the area under the foreskin in uncut guys. Indeed, an oral expert can give immense amounts of pleasure without ever taking much of Mr. Meat into his mouth.

But once you 're sucking the shaft, keep in mind that you have lips, a tongue, and a throat, so try using all three. Says the boy with the better-blowing boyfriend, "In particular, my partner had started using his tongue to do this little dance on the underside of my dick while the back of his throat was milking me. It was amazing."

It takes practice to be a deep-throating expert, and for some of us it's a tough skill to master. Guys born with small jaws may have to open extra-wide, and then there's that troublesome gag reflex. Some men have more of an urge to hurl than others, but relaxation, slow breathing, and wanting that thing down your throat all help. Practice can also make perfect, either on the ever-popular banana, or on a realistically sized dildo.

And no matter how much of your boyfriend you can swallow, keep motion in mind. The old in-out, up-and-down of fellatio is popular for a very good reason: It increases enjoyment for the sucked, while enabling the headgiver to relax and catch his breath. Suction's sexy, too: It's called "cocksucking" for a reason.

And even though you may not be able to look into your beloved's eyes, paying attention to his cues – body language, moans, sighs, and the like – will let you know how well you're doing.

Though oral sex is quite unlikely to transmit HIV, it's not risk-free, and some guys choose to use condoms to prevent a range of STDs. If rubber's on the menu, use a condom that's thin and nonlubricated, and try employing greater pressure and perhaps a bit less finesse.

Keep your mind as open as your mouth, and you too will earn that T-shirt that reads, "Let go of my ears! I know what I'm doing!"

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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