Sex talk
Speaking of Paying for It

Simon Sheppard,

It is, as they say, the oldest profession, and come boom or bust, the market for booty is always bullish. Despite its lack of legality in many places, there's no shortage of sex-for-hire.

There are plenty of reasons why. Some guys figure – rightly or wrongly – that they're too homely to get laid unless they lay out cold, hard cash. But it can be a matter of convenience, too. "I travel a lot on business," says one frequent-flying fucker, "and if I get in late and horny to some hotel in a city I've never visited, the last thing I want to do is to go out and stand around some bar so I can find sex. That's where paid escorts come in. After all, I'm not trying to find love, just dick."

It can also be a matter of kink. Men with specialized tastes – especially ones who don't live in cities with large alternative-sex communities – might find it simpler to just go out and hire someone to cater to their particular perversions. "I love to get spanked by a muscleman," confesses one client, "and I've found this hunky man who knows how to give me just what I need. He comes over when I want it, doesn't bother me when I don't. Well worth the money."

Which brings up another attraction of commercialized sex: its no-strings-attached nature. "I'm a married bisexual," says one 40ish fellow, "and while I like being fucked, I cheerfully can do without the emotional baggage involved in dating."

With paying comes the increased power to get what you're after. Another man says, "I enjoy getting massaged – a real full-body rub – and that always makes me horny. You know how tough it is to find an amateur buddy who'll spend time massaging you before giving you a no-reciprocation release? It's not that I have to pay to get laid, but when I want that particular thing, I call in a professional."

And sometimes power is a big part of the pleasure: lots of sex workers have stories of rich guys who seem more intent on bossing them around than getting off.

Whatever a client's motives, there are things he can do to make the exchange a more satisfying one. Sex workers suggest that a john know what he's looking for ahead of time and seek out the escort most likely to fill his needs. Be clear about what your money will – and will not – buy. And don't be abusive – unless it's part of a negotiated scene. You may be feeling guilty, but don't take it out on the fellow you've hired to get you off.

When you find a pro who pleases you, consider tipping him well and calling him back next time you're horny. While some who hire hustlers crave novelty, there's much to be said for an ongoing arrangement. As one full-release masseur says, "I really like repeat customers. We both are more comfortable with each other, and I'm more likely to satisfy a guy once I've gotten to know him."

And take care. Whenever you're naked with a stranger – whether money is involved or not – there's a potential for abuse. The vast majority of sex workers are honest souls, but you're not going to want to tell American Express that you got ripped off just before you came.

There's one last caution. Keep in mind that though genuine affection can be present, it's still a commercial transaction: dick-for-dough. As our sex worker says, "Don't fall in love...unless you want to stand in line."

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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