Sex talk
Speaking of Puppy Play

Simon Sheppard,

Lie down and roll over! Sit up and beg! Good boy!

"Puppy play" holds a pet place in the wonderful world of fantasy-based sex. Part role playing, part dominance-and-submission, it can be fabulous, four-footed fun. Because dog owners love their pets – and because pups are so adorably cute – pretend-puppy scenes tend to be sweeter and gentler than lots of other kinky stuff, while tapping into the animal in us all.

Plenty of puppy play is low-key, while – as with any kink – there are aficionados who take things to erotic extremes. It can be as simple as improvised face-licking and tail-wagging. "Every once in a while, my boyfriend gets into licking me and whimpering," says one guy. "And I scratch his belly. No big deal, but it's really fun. Kind of sexy, too, especially when he humps my leg with his hard-on."

On the kinkier side of things, the complexity of owner/pet relationships lends a spaniel-esque spark to playing with power: Put a collar around your "doggy's" neck and conduct a training session, swatting Fido on the haunch with a rolled-up newspaper if he misbehaves. And if you're daring enough, you can spread that newspaper on the floor and try to housebreak your new pet.

If fuller-fledged Rin Tin Tin role play is your pleasure, you can add a leash and a dog bowl, even a cage and dog chow. "There's nothing like the sight of a naked boy on all fours lapping water out of a bowl to get me going," confesses one kinky topman. "And sometimes I'll feed him a bone. Mine."

Then there are those who do doggy play to the max, complete with canine costumes and long-term master/pup relationships. Getting deep into the mastiff mindset, doggy boys "pup out." Says one devoted would-be puppy, "When I pup out, I feel closer to who I really am. It's a spiritual thing, really. You know, like how Native Americans have totem animals that represent their higher selves?"

As is the case with many a kink, actual sex may or may not be part of the tail-wagging menu. Says our spiritually inclined puppy, "I never have sex with my master when I'm pupped out, though I do at other times." There are even puppy-play enthusiasts who – perhaps taking "let's pretend" overseriously – feel that fucking bow-wowing boys is too close to bestiality for carnal comfort.

When it comes to esoteric eroticism, what gets one man hard may just leave another guy puzzled. Says one sexual adventurer who's decidedly not into dudes pretending to be dachshunds, "The whole puppy-play scene is one of those kinky things that seem not very sexy to me. It's more like kid stuff that sidesteps genital sexuality. I saw one scene where a guy was wearing floppy ears, and that just made me giggle. Harmless enough, though."

But if the thought of puppy play, with its intriguing blend of childlike cuteness and beyond-the-pale edginess, gets you frisky, rest assured you're not alone. Sure, it's a minority taste. And the full-bore "puppy lifestyle," with its leather pretend-paws, man-sized muzzles, and public "dog" show competitions, may be far beyond the bounds of those who simply want to sit up and beg for boners, or make Rover roll over. But with the rise of online sex-shopping, finding a suitable pup-play partner should be considerably simpler than dragging a genuine pet to the vet. So visit that virtual pet store – or put your wet nose up to the window and beg to be taken home – and you, too, can see Spot come.


Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion

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