Speaking of Showing Off
Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com
"If you've got it," says an old advertisement, "flaunt it." And that's still
not bad advice.
There are exhibitionists, of course, those jolly perverts who get off on
exposing themselves in whole or private part, and often in places they
shouldn't. But "showing off" is a lot more varied than flashing at the
grocery store. No matter who you are, no matter what you look like, someone
somewhere is going to be turned on by the way you look, so why not let a bit
of assertive self-presentation help things along?
"A lot of guys are shy, or afraid to seem immodest," says one horny observer
of the gay scene, "but many others are unafraid to put themselves out there,
and to show, in one way or another, what they've got. And man, I love to
Gym rats and the naturally gorgeous may be most likely to flaunt their
fabulousness, but even the less perfect among us might find it fun to shed
our self-consciousness. "I used to be so uptight that I wouldn't wear shorts
out on the street," says a formerly shy guy. "But then I kind of forced
myself to wear shorts a lot, and that gave me the confidence to wear more
revealing things, till now I can happily strut around naked on a nude
Showing off can be as simple as stripping to the waist on a hot day, or as
elaborate as donning backless chaps and a studded codpiece to cruise a sex
club. It's not just a matter of trying to get attention; it's about
showcasing your best assets. "Not to boast," says Formerly Shy, "but I'm
pretty well-hung, and I just love to wear really tight bicycle shorts.
Having my basket front and center makes me feel really sexy, and I love it
when I catch guys checking it out."
So put your best foot – or crotch – forward, even if you're not
stereotypically stunning. "Best assets" is a matter of subjective judgment,
after all, and booty is in the eye of the beholder. Not everybody is into
the perfect-six-pack look of Calvin Klein underwear models; that guy in the
open-back chaps may have a big, hairy ass, but there are plenty of men
into big, hairy asses.
And attitude counts. "One of the things that makes a guy sexy," opines a
man-fan, "is his self-presentation. Somebody who's classically gorgeous but
seems withdrawn and distant is a lot less hot to me than a more ordinary man
who radiates sexual confidence. If a man knows how to sell what he's got,
he's at least halfway there."
This may require a bit of self-assessment: figuring out what your own strong
points are and how to highlight them. Tight T-shirts are not only great for
guys with to-die-for pecs, but for proudly beer-bellied bears, and for
skinny boys selling slenderness, too.
Following fashion? If young guys are dressing in baggy, low-slung pants and
you've got long, shapely legs, maybe you should swim against the tide of
trendiness and don tight jeans. It's long been a cliche that beach-going
gays will wear clingy Speedos even when they're distinctly out of fashion,
so why hide a bulging basket or a fuckable butt under acres of baggy surfer
Why not, in fact, be shameless as possible within the bounds of semi-good
taste, subtlety be damned? "I recall," says that horny observer, "being out
on the street, cruising this guy in tight-fitting jeans who had his thumbs
tucked in his pockets, his extended hands forming a 'hey-look-at-this' frame
around his big basket. I couldn't take my eyes off him, but then, only a
blind man could help but notice his featured attraction. Within seconds I
was hard, and within an hour, we were in bed."
And that's show-off biz.
Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines
Visit The Factory, South Africa's only naked, men-only club