Sex talk
Sex with Straight Guys

Simon Sheppard,

Straight guys' dicks are, according to the latest scientific research, a bit smaller than ours on average. Their fashion sense is stolen - OK, "borrowed" - from ours. Many of them can't dance. And, if straight women are to be believed, a number of het men could use coaching on sexual technique. Even so, there are plenty of queer guys who fantasise about having sex with 'em. Fetishise it. Work at it. Now, why is that?

There's no denying that, for a number of gay men, the idea of doing it with a straight guy is hot. My friend Will thinks the whole thing goes back to high school, at least for him. Remember all those het boys in the locker room we lusted after but knew we'd never have? Now that we're all grown up and think we might actually have a chance to get in their pants, those unfulfilled desires provide an extra tweak of lust. "There was my friend Mike," Will recalls. "When I'd come home from college, before he got married, he'd let me suck him. "And," he says wistfully, "it was so big!"

Doctrinaire political types look askance at the idea of eroticising straight guys. They say that to believe breeders are sexier, are more desirable, than gay men smacks of internalized homophobia - the same with sex ads that specify "straight-acting." But lust isn't all that simple; clearly, there are other factors at work.

There's the power of seduction, for one. Getting straight guys to do stuff they're not supposed to gives us a certain power over them: they may say they're upright heterosexuals, but we have the chops to prove that when they're not upright, they're as queer as the rest of us.

But at the heart of things, there's the concept of "masculinity." Now, it's perfectly obvious that not every het is as butch as Arnold; conservative pundit William F. Buckley, for instance, is as straight as they come, and no one would ever confuse him with rough trade. But there are, let's face it, some behavioral differences between many straight guys and many gay guys. And since we're attracted to men, the thinking goes, why not chase after men who are real men?

One guy I met online told me, "There's just something raw about straight guys... the idea that they're not meticulous... sometimes gay guys are too neat, too clean and too groomed. "After all, who wants to trick with someone who neatly folds his Levis and Calvin Kleins before he hops into bed?

Curiously, gay men who want straight tricks usually want to suck their dicks. Not to get screwed by them, not to top them in any significant way, but to get down on their gay knees and give pleasure to some straight stud. It's interesting on several levels, because though the cocksucker "services" the straight suckee, he also takes temporary control of the dick being sucked, and walks away with something of the straight guy's - his jizz. So who's using whom? Also, getting your dick sucked is pretty damn gender-neutral.

With his eyes closed, can a man really tell if it's a man or a woman sucking him off? Like I said, interesting...

I asked another online acquaintance, who cruises using a screen name that offers blow jobs for straight men, just what he finds so appealing about playing with hets. "They're always horny as hell and you don't have to care for them when they are sick," he said. "They don't stay for breakfast. And I'll never have to wash their underwear."

Doesn't that just about say it all?

Simon Sheppard is the co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power (Alyson Books)

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